On the surface this post has nothing whatsoever to do with investments. It looks like just a person account of the experiences and lessons in 2009. However, I am a strong believer in that success in life is heavily dependent on your personal state – that is, if you are going through a recession in your personal life and emotionally it will surely negatively reflect on your investment decisions and overall health of your portfolio.

Here are some of the few lessons and experiences that I touched upon in a recent entry on my personal blog:

As I keep getting a little older, the years keep on getting better. 2009 was no exception as I my experiences encouraged me to grow and learn more about myself and the people around me. This post will be personal as we had enough business lessons this year.

Last year has been filled with soul searching as the pace of our western lifestyle has got me asking myself questions. One question that kept being repeated was – “Who am I?” Not my job title, not the small acronyms after my name on a business card, or the business I run or work for.

I.

My biggest realization this past year has been that we often forget who we are or never knew in the first place. We all have been procrastinators. Not just procrastinating at work but procrastinating pleasure and taking the time to think and ask ourselves questions that matter. (Further Reading: Procrastinating Pleasure)

Well, it’s true.

Finding yourself and especially finding your Element (The place where the things you love to do and the things you are good at come together) isn’t easy but the search for these vital elements is required. I believe that if we find ourselves, it will be easier to cope with the present moment and future events that we sometimes can’t control.

Take it easy.

I quickly learned that you cannot find yourself or your element in a day, week, month, or even a year. And you can’t just spend all time lying on the grass asking – “Who am I?” What we can all do is keep an open mind and try new things in life. And only through new experiences will you be able to find your passions and yourself. Don’t stress on finding yourself right away.

Asking questions is important.

As the clock winds down, try asking yourself these questions:

• Who am I if I lose my job/career?
• Who am I if I lose my partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband?
• Who am I behind the small talk conversations I have on a daily basis?

And most importantly:

• When you look back on your life in your death bed, what do you want to have remembered?

These are the questions that I have asked myself in the past year and have quickly realized that life is moving at an ever increasing rate and to fully take charge of it, you have to find out what is important to you and take small daily actions to achieve your dreams.

And don’t forget to dream big! Because dreams do come true.

One of my dreams came true this year. A couple of years ago I dreamed of meeting a woman of my dreams: caring, understanding, beautiful, romantic who accepts me for who I am. This dream came true in 2007, although at that time we already knew each other for sometime but didn’t yet know that we were a perfect match.

And this summer another dream came true. As my most cherished moment the past year has been proposing to my future wife Mimi in Positano, Italy. Maybe you can even say that two dreams came true as I always dreamed of going to Italy, one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Marriage.

Many have asked me:

• Are you excited?
• Why so young?
• Are you sure? Crazy?
• Why are you getting married?
• It will change everything, you know that right?

Excited for marriage – sure. But what I love about our relationship is that we don’t put importance on one date as we are excited about our relationship every day. Marriage is just a way for us to show our love for each other.

Friends and money.

They never mix. This is what I learned this year. A great long friendship came to an end due to this circumstance. The lesson here: friends and money can work but only on the basis that when you lend money you don’t have the expectation of ever seeing that money again or do not rely on that money in the near future.

Expectations and Relationships.

Expectations are a big part of our lives and are very important but they also tend to make things difficult. Many of us always expect others to take us out, call us on our birthdays, give us presents, maintain friendships, or be romantic. Hence, this year I have realized that you have to expect things from yourself first.

Wonder why friends don’t call you? Well, when is the last time you called your friend? Is your boyfriend not being romantic? Well, when is the last time you did something special or romantic for him?

If we want anything to happen in life, we have to take actions ourselves. Call your old friends, give people presents, and send those handwritten greetings cards in the mail.

And don’t expect anything in return!

Don’t expect anything in return? You crazy?

Not really as another realization I had this year is that one of the most effective ways to get people do change or do the things you expect them to do is to be a great example by doing things yourself, not expecting anything in return, or simply inspire them to act.

Be a man/woman of your actions, not words.

2010.

Looking forward to it.

As a questioning listener of Tony Robbins (sceptical towards all motivational speakers), I strive to keep my mind open to at least one or two ideas that would make the experience worthwhile. Today, I heard a simple and effective idea from his program called Personal Power that I am going to employ in my weekly and daily goal lists.

What chunking pertains to, as a matter of fact, is grouping ideas into subsets. The ideal example that he gives in his audiotape is learning to drive a manual shift car. In the beginning, you have to focus on the three pedals, and your left leg, and the tachometer, and the gear position, and shifting gears, and balancing the clutch, and looking forward… when would you ever have time to talk on the phone while driving?! Eventually, these all meld into a fluid motion, leaving you time to talk on the phone and sip on your favourite coffee. However, at the beginning, trying to focus these actions as a whole is surely overwhelming!

So if focusing on the mass of individual motions is overwhelming… and focusing on driving manual as a 1 step is overwhelming… the solution that Tony Robbins recommends is to chunk them into manageable pieces. And, more importantly, the ideal number of chunks for human beings (thanks to research) is about 3. It’s a simple skill we are taught in elementary school – grouping.

Think about it.

Try this.

Tomorrow, instead of making a to-do list (which creates stress by focusing on what we are demanded to do and often have no purpose and causes no drive), create 3-5 groups with a DESIRED RESULT in each. Here is a typical list for me during the workweek:

INSTEAD OF:

Need to go for a run, make a healthy shake, grab morning coffee, drive to work, audit cash, audit receivables, talk to client, have team meeting, fix review notes from manager, respond to e-mails, avoid eating junk food, avoid second coffee, do 30 minutes of reading, complete 1 segment of audiotape, call friend to have a conversation, have family dinner, brush teeth…. PHEW. I’m sure you can think of a few things my typical day missed.

TRY THIS:

1. My body – desired long-term result is for abs to show and to be healthy and enjoy the process:
   1. Run in the morning, healthy shake etc…
   2. My career – to successfully complete my current audit engagement and receive high ratings for this year:
      1. Audit cash, have team meeting etc…
      2. My development – to learn how to successfully influence people this year and become goal-oriented
         1. <plug in action items>
         2. My circle – to maintain positive relationships with all friends and family
            1. <plug in action items>

You can only FEEL the result after you actually try doing this for a few days. The overwhelming daily to-do list has been chunked. And required actions are the same, and the result is psychologically prepping you to have purpose and have a manageable palate of action items. Good luck!

1. Every day is important for the bigger ideas in your life, and conscious endeavor to strive for what you want daily sets you in the right mind-frame for the long run. It is so easy to get lost in our everyday that we sometimes don’t realize that long-term goals still have to be accomplished through many days of short-term thinking.

Action plan suggestion: create a list of your long-term goals and have it in front of you at your workspace.

2. Reference points are paradigms of comparison for your valued traits: so, changing your reference point about qualities you appreciate and desire can change your entire outlook on life. What Sharma means by this is let us say you really appreciate “passion”. As a reference point for passion, you can either use somebody you know that goes to work just to make money and not really enjoy their life, or someone you know (or even don’t know) who has displays such passion for what they believe in, whether it be nature, animals or gardening, and use THEM as your reference point for passion. Trust me, your goals will be set much higher with new reference points.

Action plan suggestion: write down all qualities that are important to your development and think of one or several powerful reference points that display them.

3. Challenge serves beautifully to introduce you to your best and most brilliant self. So, burn your boat; that way, when you come to a challenge your will never turn back and go to your return boat, but will be forced to face your challenge and improve. As one of my school friends always used to say, without struggle, there is no progress, and sometimes, you have to force yourself to struggle. Don’t worry, it will be more than worth it looking back.

4. Lastly, I would just like to leave you with Sharma’s top 10 simple ideas for superb relationships. If you’re a major networker and are always on the go, like me, you may find these ideas really strong to play around with, even if you just pick one a day:

News are pretty positive the past couple of hours and we should all be grateful for this turnaround but nevertheless we always have to be ready for the unexpected. Todays’ post is on Patience.

Patience is what you needed the past couple of weeks, months, or something that you might still need for time to come. There is a lot of panic going on in the markets these days. Even though the picture seems rosy after an excellent trading day yesterday, DOW Index up 11.08% and World markets following. I urge everyone to stay optimistic about the market but at the same time tread lightly in these volatile waters that we call the stock exchange in the year 2008. Remember, before making your next trade, stop, keep your emotions in check, take a breath, go over your trade, and only then can you click on that precious “trade” button. Even having this kind of patience before making your next trade will keep you in check and will keep impulse buys or sells out of your prized portfolio.

I understand that it might be hard being patient when your portfolio is trading in major red territory and you are constantly afraid of checking your portfolio balance. In times like these, you have to re-check your trading strategy and see if you are acting like a gambler and chasing your losses. After just one day of green after a long streak of bloody red, it seems like we are seeing the start of the rainbow but it might just be an illusion as we are experiencing weak economic conditions on a global scale. This is why you have to be patient with the market and let some dust settle. Do not get me wrong, I am not telling you to sit back on your couch and do nothing. As an infamous quote from an unknown source once said, “Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow — that is patience.” Therefore, keep doing your research, keep watching the market, and follow your intuition (if you trust it that is).

Last check, remember what you read here – be patient and you will be rewarded!