Young and Invested

On the surface this post has nothing whatsoever to do with investments. It looks like just a person account of the experiences and lessons in 2009. However, I am a strong believer in that success in life is heavily dependent on your personal state – that is, if you are going through a recession in your personal life and emotionally it will surely negatively reflect on your investment decisions and overall health of your portfolio.

Here are some of the few lessons and experiences that I touched upon in a recent entry on my personal blog:

As I keep getting a little older, the years keep on getting better. 2009 was no exception as I my experiences encouraged me to grow and learn more about myself and the people around me. This post will be personal as we had enough business lessons this year.

Last year has been filled with soul searching as the pace of our western lifestyle has got me asking myself questions. One question that kept being repeated was – “Who am I?” Not my job title, not the small acronyms after my name on a business card, or the business I run or work for.

I.

My biggest realization this past year has been that we often forget who we are or never knew in the first place. We all have been procrastinators. Not just procrastinating at work but procrastinating pleasure and taking the time to think and ask ourselves questions that matter. (Further Reading: Procrastinating Pleasure)

Well, it’s true.

Finding yourself and especially finding your Element (The place where the things you love to do and the things you are good at come together) isn’t easy but the search for these vital elements is required. I believe that if we find ourselves, it will be easier to cope with the present moment and future events that we sometimes can’t control.

Take it easy.

I quickly learned that you cannot find yourself or your element in a day, week, month, or even a year. And you can’t just spend all time lying on the grass asking – “Who am I?” What we can all do is keep an open mind and try new things in life. And only through new experiences will you be able to find your passions and yourself. Don’t stress on finding yourself right away.

Asking questions is important.

As the clock winds down, try asking yourself these questions:

• Who am I if I lose my job/career?
• Who am I if I lose my partner/girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband?
• Who am I behind the small talk conversations I have on a daily basis?

And most importantly:

• When you look back on your life in your death bed, what do you want to have remembered?

These are the questions that I have asked myself in the past year and have quickly realized that life is moving at an ever increasing rate and to fully take charge of it, you have to find out what is important to you and take small daily actions to achieve your dreams.

And don’t forget to dream big! Because dreams do come true.

One of my dreams came true this year. A couple of years ago I dreamed of meeting a woman of my dreams: caring, understanding, beautiful, romantic who accepts me for who I am. This dream came true in 2007, although at that time we already knew each other for sometime but didn’t yet know that we were a perfect match.

And this summer another dream came true. As my most cherished moment the past year has been proposing to my future wife Mimi in Positano, Italy. Maybe you can even say that two dreams came true as I always dreamed of going to Italy, one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Marriage.

Many have asked me:

• Are you excited?
• Why so young?
• Are you sure? Crazy?
• Why are you getting married?
• It will change everything, you know that right?

Excited for marriage – sure. But what I love about our relationship is that we don’t put importance on one date as we are excited about our relationship every day. Marriage is just a way for us to show our love for each other.

Friends and money.

They never mix. This is what I learned this year. A great long friendship came to an end due to this circumstance. The lesson here: friends and money can work but only on the basis that when you lend money you don’t have the expectation of ever seeing that money again or do not rely on that money in the near future.

Expectations and Relationships.

Expectations are a big part of our lives and are very important but they also tend to make things difficult. Many of us always expect others to take us out, call us on our birthdays, give us presents, maintain friendships, or be romantic. Hence, this year I have realized that you have to expect things from yourself first.

Wonder why friends don’t call you? Well, when is the last time you called your friend? Is your boyfriend not being romantic? Well, when is the last time you did something special or romantic for him?

If we want anything to happen in life, we have to take actions ourselves. Call your old friends, give people presents, and send those handwritten greetings cards in the mail.

And don’t expect anything in return!

Don’t expect anything in return? You crazy?

Not really as another realization I had this year is that one of the most effective ways to get people do change or do the things you expect them to do is to be a great example by doing things yourself, not expecting anything in return, or simply inspire them to act.

Be a man/woman of your actions, not words.

2010.

Looking forward to it.

Last 3 posts by Alex Ikonn

• Chance to See Jeff Rubin - February 1st, 2010
• Digital and The Future of Advertising - November 13th, 2009
• Russia's Billionaires in the Red - October 8th, 2009